this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2025
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I think it was a slow-burn, building awareness after every incident that this wasn't someone i wanted to be: it felt juvenile and embarassing. One day it reached a point where that awareness matched the blind rage i felt and allowed me to choose (with difficulty) not to do it in the moment. After that the choice got easier each time until the urge faded away. I still yell more than I'd like but I'm no longer destructive
But what is it that even leads to the yelling? That suggests that things are still often escalating and there's something not yet addressed?
Do you remember an example of a time you ended up yelling but rewind to the people, things,location, and conditions that combined to create that storm? Try tracing it back,what prior experience did it resemble if any?