I suggest just finding whatever used kits are for sale near you and picking one you like within your budget, but definitely try to get at least: kick drum, snare, hi-hat and one cymbal; that will be plenty to get started. Drum kits are modular so if you get really lucky and find an amazing set that someone just wants to get out of their garage but feels a bit overwhelming to look at: just buy it and use the few pieces you need to start, then you'll have stuff to grow into if you like it. Honestly if you have the space for a kit and your housemates have the patience to hear the horrible sounds you'll be making, that is like 90% of the hurdle to learning to play drums lol

You'll want to watch some videos or read up on how to tune drums and make them sound better. Sound is subjective so there is no right or wrong way to tune and dampen things IMO: I used to use wadded up paper towels and duct tape as a kid. Just mess with it until it sounds good to you.

How you learn is up to you, but my suggestion is to find what is fun. If it isn't fun then you may not stick with it. Drumming requires a lot of awkward coordination that doesn't come naturally to most people, so it will take some time to establish basic muscle memory. If you have a friend who wants to learn an instrument then get together and jam! It will sound absolutely horrible but if you both suck then it will be fun and you'll learn pretty quick. If you can afford a teacher then they will have their own ways of teaching that may or may not work for you, and there are a million resources and videos online now so I'm sure you can find something that is your speed. Good luck!