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Trans friend scared of starting hormones (lemmy.zip)

submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by Flickerby@lemmy.zip to c/lgbtq_plus@beehaw.org

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So I have a friend, ACTUAL friend not a "this is me but I don't wanna say situation" who has identified as trans ever since she was like, 13 or 14. She doesn't have the insurance to cover the treatments but that can be dealt with, the bigger issue is that while she really WANTS to start, she's deathly afraid of what it's going to do to her social circles. Which I kinda get, she's in....not a very accepting area. But she feels like she can't starts unless she moves away otherwise she's just going to cause issues for her family, like specific examples she brought up being her dad pulled over and ticketed for random bullshit because of her. It's a small town but not THAT small. I'm not sure what to do or say about it. I've obviously just been encouraging her to do what she wants, when she wants, but I can tell she's getting more and more frustrated with the situation as time goes on and I just thought maybe I'd ask here for advice or thoughts or input or something. Thank you all in advance

Thank you everyone for your help! Definitely going to pass it on. I think I'm going to log out forever now though. I'm really tired to be honest. And everything is just a bit waves hands much. Especially today. You guys were a nice light though <3 Thank you

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[–] tae_glas@slrpnk.net 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

if she chooses to socially transition & never to do anything else, that's perfectly valid. a lot of trans people choose this route, and it'll be immensely helpful for her to have a supportive friend like you around.

if she chooses to medically transition as well, on her own timeline that she's comfortable with, it'll be immensely helpful for her to have a supportive friend like you around.

basically, you're already doing what you can by being there for her, whatever happens 🫶

[–] Flickerby@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

She WANTS to though. Like, a lot. She makes those "and this is what I would do with my boobs...IF I HAD THEM" jokes and aw I feel bad. My bio dad now mom was SUCH a fucking asshole before she transitioned and now she's just a different person. I mean my friend's not an asshole but I want her to come into herself like my mom did if that makes sense.

[–] tae_glas@slrpnk.net 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

if she wants to, but doesn't feel safe to, then her decision not to start yet is still valid. there's also no rush, early twenties is so young & she has decades & decades of her life ahead of her, where her circumstances could change dramatically & she might then feel completely safe to start hormones.

safety is often a factor when trans people choose not to medically transition, or to detransition.

it sucks & of course ideally, we'd all live in a place where these decisions can be freely made without having to consider safety, but ultimately it's each trans person's decision to make for themselves, because no one can guarantee safety.

[–] Flickerby@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 week ago

Yeah of course. I was just wondering if there was anything I could do to make that process easier I guess. I'm just trying to be a good friend.