this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2025
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So I have a friend, ACTUAL friend not a "this is me but I don't wanna say situation" who has identified as trans ever since she was like, 13 or 14. She doesn't have the insurance to cover the treatments but that can be dealt with, the bigger issue is that while she really WANTS to start, she's deathly afraid of what it's going to do to her social circles. Which I kinda get, she's in....not a very accepting area. But she feels like she can't starts unless she moves away otherwise she's just going to cause issues for her family, like specific examples she brought up being her dad pulled over and ticketed for random bullshit because of her. It's a small town but not THAT small. I'm not sure what to do or say about it. I've obviously just been encouraging her to do what she wants, when she wants, but I can tell she's getting more and more frustrated with the situation as time goes on and I just thought maybe I'd ask here for advice or thoughts or input or something. Thank you all in advance

Thank you everyone for your help! Definitely going to pass it on. I think I'm going to log out forever now though. I'm really tired to be honest. And everything is just a bit waves hands much. Especially today. You guys were a nice light though <3 Thank you

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[–] VivianRixia@piefed.social 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

For me, transitioning was when my life really started, everything else from puberty to that point was a blur. And any friends that don't accept you were not real friends. I understand that its scary to make such a change, but if your friend truly WANTS to start that badly, then I suspect she won't be happy until she does. She's scared for understandable reasons, but this isn't something that's going to go away, and the longer you wait to start, the less life you'll have left to enjoy it.

[–] Flickerby@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah that's what I've been telling her too. She's 23 or so now, so she definitely knows what she wants. She's just really terrified of her hurting her dad. Not because he won't accept her or anything (she's been socially living as a woman for a long while now, just hasn't ever had the 'dad I'm trans' convo') but because she's afraid the community will lash out against her family. Which I don't think they will, but I have super anxiety too, so I understand the paranoia. I just don't want her to miss out on what could be some great years for her because of fear, because I did the same (in an entirely unrelated fashion though)

[–] UnixSlvt42@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm just kind of confused. If your friend has already socially transitioned what difference would HRT make?

[–] Flickerby@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

She's not FULLY socially transitioned. Like, with her friends she's herself, but with her family and in public, she's, how did she put it...."Just a little fae"? She still goes by her deadname with family and in public

[–] UnixSlvt42@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I see. I'd still recommend just going for it. I live in a conservative are with conservative family. Coming out and starting HRT made life so much better. The worst that's happened is that people make snarky remarks and ask invasive questions.

[–] Flickerby@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 week ago

I think the same. Thank you so much for your answers and your help! I appreciate it muchly <3