this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2025
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Idk why the fuck around this time of year my brain starts caving in on itself. Spring to autumn im ok then it hits the end of the year then jan/feb i just implode. Then come march april i start being ok again.

I just cant be fucking doing this every year do i need to book a holiday to fucking eyebeefa in winter like all my gammony peers? Im sick of the memories of my life being staring at grey skies why does it hurt me so bad? Its stupid? Why does a grey sky make me sad?

Its like i need a constant feed of valium for 6 months a year im like burning half my life away feeling miserable because its not sunny i cant live like this

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[–] microfiche@hexbear.net 12 points 5 days ago (2 children)

seasonal a-something disorder? I suffer from it too.

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 12 points 5 days ago

seasonal affective disorder

[–] Snort_Owl@hexbear.net 6 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Have you found anything that helps?

[–] microfiche@hexbear.net 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I had some special bulbs that I installed in a place I used to live, they were supposed to replicate full sun spectrum or something, and help alleviate the worst of it, and it seems to help some but I dunno how much of that was my own thinking versus actual help.

I'm not the most outgoing, bubbly of sorts, but I notice an absolute change in my outlook when winter rolls around. It's a small part of why I live where I live, winter is pretty tame comparatively so more sunny days than say Seattle or Portland.

Does excercise like taking a walk do anything? I hate to suggest medication but have you tried a SSRI/SSNI?

[–] Snort_Owl@hexbear.net 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Did have ssri’s for a bit and they worked until they kinda just started making me feel hollow and lost the ability to feel joy. Exercise is actually impossible for me in winter I simply lose the will to move. Fine in summer i go outside and scorch myself in the sun for hours but i literally cant even bring myself to go outside unless im forced to in winter months and i hate it

[–] microfiche@hexbear.net 5 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

I am the exact same. I just can't handle the cold. I can handle 95-100f days for weeks on end. I complain about the heat but I can handle it. The cold is another matter entirely. It makes my fingers hurt. It makes my joints hurt. I love to camp, but can't handle it in the winter, I won't do anything but sit under blankets and shiver.

Give me the heat, please.

Also, I just got off of Lexapro and Wellbutrin. They helped for a while, but seem to have lost effectiveness, even with counseling and the lot. My doctor suggested upping my dose but I really don't want to get into SSRI/SSNI withdrawal again. A long time ago I kicked opium with tramadol, and the tramadol withdrawal was 2x worse than the opium. SSRI shocks are absolute hell to me.

[–] Jessica@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 5 days ago

It's called vitamin d fam. Get a supplement