Men's Liberation
This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.
Rules
Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people
Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their own lived experiences.
Be productive
Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people's efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed.
Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting:
- Build upon the OP
- Discuss concepts rather than semantics
- No low effort comments
- No personal attacks
Assume good faith
Do not call other submitters' personal experiences into question.
No bigotry
Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated.
No brigading
Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues.
Recommended Reading
- The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love by bell hooks
- Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements by Michael Messner
Related Communities
!feminism@beehaw.org
!askmen@lemmy.world
!mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world
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Same. Life is just happy and peaceful alone. Relationships and friendships just invite drama, controversy and misery into my life. And I spent my life pursing 'community' and relationships thinking one day i'll get what I want otu of them... and that day was never coming, never going to happen. I was never going to be loved, accepted, or appreciated for all my efforts. All that happens is endless criticism of how you aren't doing more, and how your sacrifices and efforts and accomplishments are the 'bare minimum'.
Why would anyone want to live like that? It's an abusive way to live your life. Turns out being alone means the abuse stops. Turnings out when you put your energy into yourself... you feel good. You get healthy, you enjoy life, and if you aren't constantly being shamed by others... you stop feeling shame. I have been single and alone for 5 years... i am fitter, healthier, wealthier, and i get to pursue my passions without harassment and shame about how 'stupid' they are from other people.
But sadly 'society' doesn't understand this. That the 'bargain' society used to offer me is now no longer giving them what they want. And they would rather just double-down on shame and harassment of men as being 'unmanly'. Of feeling like any social interaction I had required me walking on eggshells and be hyper vigilent, because if i offended or upset anyone I'm a terrible awful wretched person. It's totally absurd way to live life. I'd rather be happy and isolated than miserable and 'involved' in society's bullshit rat race misery contest that it calls 'socializing', where no matter how much you do or achieve, it's never enough because someone else has more than you and you should feel awful about it.
I cook/eat what I want, went I want. I do what I want when/if I want to do it. I wear what I want, buy what I want, and it's awesome because I can do all of this without constant negotiation and negative feedback about how my choices that I make are 'impacting' or 'hurting' or 'disappointing' everyone else. Like I drive a base level hatchback car... it's great, i love it. But apparently this 'upset' my exes/friends/etc because it showed I have 'no ambition or self respect' or something. F that noise.
If you don't mind my asking, where do you live? It baffles me that people would get upset over what car you drive.
Boston MA. full of 'progressive' liberals who hate anyone who isn't part of the economic top 10% and engages in conspicuous consumption. my car is also not luxury priced hybrid or EV, so I'm clearly a loser POS who wants to 'destroy' the environment.
and when i tell them my car gets 40mpg, more than most hybrids do, they just tell me to f myself and i clearly love big oil.
I also own a condo in a 130 year old building. Get told what a 'shithole' it is... because it's not 2000sq ft modern luxury crap construction.
Everything is appearances. Nothing is truth or substance.
Boston: The people? Rough. The weather? Also tough. Rent? High.
But the food? ...Also bad.
J/k man, hopefully people can eventually understand that you recycling/maintaining a high mpg car is way more effective than buying something new under the guise of efficiency.
i love the weather and the rent is affordable to me. the people used to be awesome before all the tech yuppies moved in with their endless agonizing about how hard their lives are.
Same out here in California, sadly.
"You know that black glass rectangle in your pocket? How about a new one, with 4 cameras instead of 3? Only $8500!!! "
" Man I can't believe I only got a $20k raise this year, how am I supposed to afford my Tesla cyberdump?? "
... Etc
yep. here it's mostly agonizing about their 20K vacations not being fancy enough.
i don't think i've ever spent more than 2K on a vacation.
if it's 130y old it probably is a shithole tbh
try living in a new 'luxury' building where the walls are paper thin, you can hear your neighbors business, and it's falling apart because it's made of the cheap shoddy materials. but it looks all shiny and nice!
plaster is quiet as fuck and old brickwork lasts forever.
oh for sure, especially boston. bunch of cheap shit thrown down by private equity REIT's just price gouging yuppie college kids/families fir every $ they can.
idk though, the century old buildings always seem to have mold/airflow issues ime.
i don't live in a wet environment. zero issues with anything in the 6 years i've lived here than old appliances needing to be replaced when they break.
MGTOW
I did this but didn't ever really think of of it as that. I got divorced and decided I didn't want to ever marry again. Fifteen years later I'm still doing my own thing. I don't hate women but I don't want one in my life or my house. I still have my kids even though they are grown and that is more than enough family for me. I have one friend who I call a brother and the rest are just people I get along with. One lives less than five minutes from me and has not came by my house ever. Every time I see him he invites me to come by and I do the same. I might visit him again if he ever thinks enough of me to visit me. I stay busy at home for instance last night I built a little siren whistle in cad like they used to put in cereal boxes. I'm gonna print it out tonight and test. I know that sounds boring to many but its fun for me. I'm happier now than I was fifteen years ago.
Edit: I really would like some of these downvotes to vent to me why you downvoted my statements. I need a good laugh.
A emergency food source when you kick the bucket? Mine isn't waiting and occasionally will just gnaw on me.
Maybe the cure can start with fucking paragraphs?
Holy fucking shit dude.