I've started running (because I needed to do something) and I've motivated myself by paying for a 11km run (and I'm not wasting that good money I paid!).

I'm now able to run 3.4km without breaks. I've never been able to run like this before, so it took a while to get to that point, but it feels great.

It's super hard to motivate myself so I had a few tricks to get me outside and then it's just a matter of moving over the same easily achievable route until I'm home, and it doesn't take too long or feel like too much.

I highly recommend doing this, even if it's just brisk walking a couple km. Get a podcast or youtube video playing, zone out and move your legs.

Question in the title…

Welcome to !mensmentalhealth. I’m very new to managing an online community so bear with me. I saw a need and having dealt with my own issues, as well as many saying they wished such an area existed in Lemmy, I thought I’d get this going.

Check out the sidebar for the rules. For now they’re ripped mostly from other areas I’ve seen online. I’m happy to keep things going but may enlist / ask for help should that need arise. I’m also acutely aware of the sensitive nature of these sorts of discussions. So while “don’t be a dick” is rule #5 it’s most certainly at the forefront of my mind.

As the title states, all constructive comments are welcome. Have at it and I hope this helps out anyone who may need it.

Disclaimer: I’m nowhere near a mental health professional, just a random guy on the internet. My expertise is very techy so I won’t even pretend to give any medical advice. At best you’ll get tidbits on personal experience. I hope that folks with real & useful things to say will poke their heads in here to speak from time to time.

At age 16, against my normal nature , I've asked out my then crush who was my schoolmate.

(In retrospect, it was only sexual attraction, cause her personality was abysmal..)

I say "ask out" but it was one of the childish "wanna be my gf" sort of thing. I didn't have (nor do I have now) "game".
My only valid pretense for hanging with her , and not actually planning a date, was studying together for tests.

Neverthelesss, the excitement and the rush after she showed interest in me was overwhelming , and I spiraled out of control.
I became clingy , needed and over the top in love.

It all came crashing down when I saw her avoiding me while looking afraid and creeped out.
That face is burned into my retina, and all I can think about when I even think about stepping into that arena again.

I'm 31 now, still painfully alone - but with the added bonus of feeling like expired milk and overrun with anxiety and depression.

I'm telling myself again and again that I'm doing the best with the cards I've been dealt with , and partnership or intimacy is just not one of those cards.
I try to keep busy and focus on work - because one moment of boredom sends me to a variety of really dark places.

I know that some day the pattern of eat-sleep-job-repeat won't be enough, but I'm repressing that thought like hell right now.

Thank you guys for creating this sub BTW, much needed.

I’m on vacation so I don’t have time to devote to a proper sidebar, icons, etc until next week. So for now talk about men’s mental health issues, and don’t be a dick. That’s all.