this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2025
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My mom deliberately didn’t give us chores, because she grew up with a strict father who overwhelmed her with them.
It backfired. I entered adulthood not even knowing how to use a broom. My first boss thought it was hilarious.
Please, teach your kid these skills. However, don’t use them as punishment! That just makes them all the harder to do independently. I have an ex who associated cleaning with being punished and, as a result, never volunteered to do it. Every household chore fell on me.
This is the line to walk. I've framed chores with my son as 'personal responsibility'.
While at 12 he still struggles with the broom (I'll let him hand vac if that's what he prefers), he knows how to do his own laundry and cleans his bathroom himself often enough too. Chores are a part of living, do your part, I say. I grew up the eldest daughter of a home with no mother, everything fell to me. But I'm not going to ricochet that back and have my son be useless. It's a balance, to be helpful and responsible, this is the goal.
I grew up doing chores and failed to make my own kid do them. I thought I was being nice but I can tell I let her down now. :(
Kids need to have a childhood and feel useful both. Plus they are important skills
At our home, cooking and cleaning can for some reason bei either a punishment or a treat. Even the exact same action. It kinda puzzles me.