this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2025
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And make your kids help with stuff regardless of gender. So many people grow up without basic life skills bc parents didn't involve them in activities regardless of the gender-coded-ness of those activities.
My mom deliberately didn’t give us chores, because she grew up with a strict father who overwhelmed her with them.
It backfired. I entered adulthood not even knowing how to use a broom. My first boss thought it was hilarious.
Please, teach your kid these skills. However, don’t use them as punishment! That just makes them all the harder to do independently. I have an ex who associated cleaning with being punished and, as a result, never volunteered to do it. Every household chore fell on me.
This is the line to walk. I've framed chores with my son as 'personal responsibility'.
While at 12 he still struggles with the broom (I'll let him hand vac if that's what he prefers), he knows how to do his own laundry and cleans his bathroom himself often enough too. Chores are a part of living, do your part, I say. I grew up the eldest daughter of a home with no mother, everything fell to me. But I'm not going to ricochet that back and have my son be useless. It's a balance, to be helpful and responsible, this is the goal.
I grew up doing chores and failed to make my own kid do them. I thought I was being nice but I can tell I let her down now. :(
Kids need to have a childhood and feel useful both. Plus they are important skills
At our home, cooking and cleaning can for some reason bei either a punishment or a treat. Even the exact same action. It kinda puzzles me.
I have a friend who's wife refuses to let anyone in the house do chores because "Nobody does it the right way". Then gets completely overwhelmed with the amount of chores she has to do, and takes it out on my friend.
She seems to completely miss the point of teaching people "the right way" or "practice".
My kids are expected to do a chore a day, I have a list of available options with the only rule that most things can only be done once a week. I don't need the windows wiped down every single day, but Dishes and Laundry are always available. Even if they do something poorly, it is less than it was before and eventually they will get it done correctly.