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I think I'm at rock bottom. Now what? (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 month ago by Aradino@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

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This isn't a pity party post, it's not entirely my fault. I'm a construction site that got abandoned and water got in and now it'll cost twice as much as the original plan, and sure I could have done something about it earlier instead of just letting myself(the building?) rot but I didn't and there's no use beating myself up over it. I have missed out on 14 years or so.

I'm an unfinished person and I just need to finish myself. Which is a unique position to be in because I think a lot of people want that. I have no family and no long term connections. Which is exactly as lonely as it sounds but also makes me pretty fucking free to do whatever I want

So I have some questions that are things most people learned between the ages of 12 and 24. I didn't, which sucks. They can basically be summarised as "how do I be a human?"

How do people make friends? How do I become someone that people actively seek out interaction with? How do I do this without having any money

These are probably too broad to have any meaningful answers and I'll probably just be embarrassed by it later and delete it. Idk

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[–] JustSo@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

Also, don't be embarrassed. You haven't shared much about your circumstances but what you have shared is not weird or particularly uncommon.

Don't worry too much about "finding yourself" - I seriously believe that the whole notion of going out into the world to find yourself is a toxic meme that leads us away from becoming whole people.

It's so easy to get depressed about wasted years and preoccupied with missed opportunities, but there's no going back and its only worth torturing yourself with that stuff to the extent it helps keep you from making the same mistakes in future. Otherwise, eyes forward so you don't fall in a hole.