this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2025
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General Memes & Private Chuckle
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He doesn’t need razors.
He doesn’t need tools.
He doesn’t need fucking camping gear or alcohol!
And my mom doesn’t need bath products, mugs, or jewelry.
Anything else that doesn’t cost $500+, please, I’m begging you 😭(@guide writers, not OP)
If you don’t spend $500 or more then you automatically dishonour your family in the eyes of capitalism.
Cheap gifts make Jeff bezos cry. Is that what you want? To make baby Jeff cry?
Tears of joy, maybe. Cheap gifts are part of Amazon's lifeblood. It's certainly not the first place most people think of when seeking out something $500+.
These are legitimately awesome ideas. Thank you so much! /gen
Jam. Make some Jam. Everyone needs jam. Put vodka in the jam so it's fancy.
Everyone gets some apple butter and everyone will enjoy it or else!
I'm part of everyone! Send me apple butter! (Please)
I would if the entire batch I just made wasn't already claimed!
You drive a hard bargain, but alright pass it over
I made a whole assortment of different fruit butters for my father-in-law once. I don't know if he appreciated it or not but they did get eaten
Bucket style towel warmer for both/either. I can't believe they aren't standard in hotels at this point.
If you can paint -at all- like it doesn’t even have to be that good, paint a flower pot with pictures of old pets who have died over the years, plant something super easy to keep alive, like an aloe or snake plant, and write them something about your shared memories. Include the pics you used for the painting so they can reminisce with you.
This was a big win for me.
I do need razors, I do need tools, I do need camping gear, I do need bath products, I do want jewelry.
But what you buy me, will never be what I actually want. We have a family tradition, where we go online as a family, and order stuff we actually want. No need for surprises and pretending to be happy with something you didn't want.
On a similar note, the family christmas dinner is pizza with pre-made tapas/snacks, consumed in PJs while watching netflix. No one's stressed, tired or spending too much time in the kitchen.
Cancer and too many funerals, really does shed a family of fucks to give.
Ordering something gift wrapped for yourself and delivering it to them so they can give it to you and you can act surprised and tell them how thoughtful they are is next level gifting.
He don’t use jelly 🎵
And he don’t use cheese 🎶