this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2025
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Good piece, but must still make way for the true king of Christmas music, the Ukrainian folk metal piece known as Carol of the Bells.
“Carol of The Bells” is for fighting a massive thirty-story corrupt god, destroying a metro area with wild swings of its tentacles and tongues, running up the side of a skyscraper as fast as you can, holding a batshit crazy-large technosword, collateral damage everywhere, choir lyrics come in, all so that you and the other residents of the city can finally be safe, on the night of Christmas Eve.
Tell me it’s not.
I was at a Lindsay Sterling concert a few months ago, and she brought out a wheel to randomly pick the next song. Carol of the Bells was on there and even though it was mid September, the audience went wild when they saw that one. She even talked it up a bit for those who didn't know. Landed on something else and everyone was very disappointed.
Anyway, Hollywood, you need to make Godzilla vs Mecha Santa and have them destroy the city to Carol of the Bells. Hell, I'll even accept Michael Bay as the director. It'd be like the one thing he's good for.
'Pain and gain' was also good.
He's not a bad director, he's got a very specific skill set that doesn't apply to most projects. 'Incomprehensible assholes and deranged perverts of history' would absolutely benefit from his direction.
To be fair to Michael Bay, he knows exactly what he's good at, so that's exactly what he does.
There are other directors that I could point to who do not seem to know that they suck at anything other than framing a short action sequence.
I absolutely loved how epic rap battles of history handled Michael Bay. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_wYtG7aQTHA&pp=0gcJCR4Bo7VqN5tD
An old PSP game called The 3rd Birthday opened with some fucked-up aliens invading NYC on Christmas Eve. It was a tragedy they didn’t use Carol of the Bells.
"Carol of the Bells" is two mind controllers vying for control of a glamorous penthouse filled with skateboards and mideval weaponry by posessing members of a wedding reception in order to obfuscate their identities from each other even though unbeknownst to them they are now married and putting off their consumation with increasingly ridiculous excuses.
Fuck, I can't unhear that now. You broke my Final Fantasy battle.
I always thought carol of the bells was something mainly used in American movies to make choirs sound fancy. In contrast to ordinary carols which are easy tunes and don't need multiple parts.
Savatage - Christmas Eve / Saravejo 12-24
I'm struggling to find it, are you sure it isn't an older song that's been adapted to metal?
Cuz I'm pretty sure you're talking about Shchedryk and that... definitely isn't metal.
I'm unsure of its origins, but the badass metal version I'm familiar with is by Tran-Siberian Orchestra.
https://youtu.be/sCabI3MdV9g
Edit: I also can't hear this song without hearing "ding fries are done", so here's that as well. Please enjoy this artifact from the ancient internet.
https://youtu.be/ZvvHXjKloNs
And of course, Family Guy ripped it off.
https://youtu.be/24K2NhwWDsk
"Ding fries are done" is solid ancient internet, but these days I feel a little icky for laughing at it. Its not outright making fun of developmentally-disabled people, but it's adjacent enough to be a bit... like "it was a different time" kind of humor.
Yes this is Shchedryk, I love Trans Siberian Orchestra but the song definitely did not start as folk metal song. Just had to set the record straight.
Edit: Also I'm not disputing that the metal versions are epic, just the origins. I think the OG is pretty epic too.
Edit2: Oooooh
I think everybody else understood that to be a joke, not a serious misunderstanding of the song's origin.
Ooooooooh
Have you heard the Trans-Siberian Orchestra mashup of Carol of the Bells and God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen called Christmas Eve / Sarajevo 12/24?