this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2025
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“Carol of The Bells” is for fighting a massive thirty-story corrupt god, destroying a metro area with wild swings of its tentacles and tongues, running up the side of a skyscraper as fast as you can, holding a batshit crazy-large technosword, collateral damage everywhere, choir lyrics come in, all so that you and the other residents of the city can finally be safe, on the night of Christmas Eve.
Tell me it’s not.
I was at a Lindsay Sterling concert a few months ago, and she brought out a wheel to randomly pick the next song. Carol of the Bells was on there and even though it was mid September, the audience went wild when they saw that one. She even talked it up a bit for those who didn't know. Landed on something else and everyone was very disappointed.
Anyway, Hollywood, you need to make Godzilla vs Mecha Santa and have them destroy the city to Carol of the Bells. Hell, I'll even accept Michael Bay as the director. It'd be like the one thing he's good for.
'Pain and gain' was also good.
He's not a bad director, he's got a very specific skill set that doesn't apply to most projects. 'Incomprehensible assholes and deranged perverts of history' would absolutely benefit from his direction.
To be fair to Michael Bay, he knows exactly what he's good at, so that's exactly what he does.
There are other directors that I could point to who do not seem to know that they suck at anything other than framing a short action sequence.
I absolutely loved how epic rap battles of history handled Michael Bay. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_wYtG7aQTHA&pp=0gcJCR4Bo7VqN5tD
An old PSP game called The 3rd Birthday opened with some fucked-up aliens invading NYC on Christmas Eve. It was a tragedy they didn’t use Carol of the Bells.
"Carol of the Bells" is two mind controllers vying for control of a glamorous penthouse filled with skateboards and mideval weaponry by posessing members of a wedding reception in order to obfuscate their identities from each other even though unbeknownst to them they are now married and putting off their consumation with increasingly ridiculous excuses.
Fuck, I can't unhear that now. You broke my Final Fantasy battle.