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this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2023
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How about instead we train boys that they do not own women, nor do they have a right to demand women obey them.
Teach your children well.
Both. Both is an option because you can't train the monster out of some people.
No. Girls/women should not be held accountable for what boys/men do.
Teach your sons better.
Yeah and we shouldn't wear seatbelts because we shouldn't be held accountable for what some other drunken idiot does on the road
Yeah, maybe you're right, but you need to accept the reality that you can't control the actions of others and that you should still take precautionary measures to protect yourself
Why are we pretending that this is just an inherent quality that needs to be taught out rather than a serious deviation from the norm? "Teach people not to murder" yeah, uh, we do, and unreasonable people still murder.
Also if your only solution is "everybody SHOULD do X", you've already failed. Reality is that we are so far away from everybody doing the "right" thing that refusing to take any basic precautions is just setting somebody up to get hurt.
It's like telling people they don't need to bring bear spray on hikes in a bear infested wood because the bears shouldn't try to hurt you.
It's disingenuous to compare a wild animal without reasoning ability with a male human.
If you have the impulse control of a bear, there is something medically wrong with you.
I am pretty sure there are people with the impulse control of a bear. These are probably not the same people discussing these matters over Internet
Yes, and there are plenty of people out there with things medically wrong with them which will cause them to act out violently. It's only wise to prepare for a potential run-in with one of these people. Whether they "should" act out against you or not.
Unreasonable murderers are not the norm tho.
Men thinking they can control women is far more common, and the cure for that is parents teaching their kids that shit won't be tolerated.
Yeah, but I don't trust other parents to actually teach their sons that. So I will still have to teach my daughters to defend themselves against those kind of people.
Lol. Yeah. I was more comparing murder to rape. I don't know where you live, but where I live, men raping women is not normalized.
Because it IS enough men who participate in these behaviors to qualify as more than an aberration.
Reading comprehension, try and find some.
I agree with the sentiment, some people won't be raising their sons right. And, while we need to push those people, we also need to be real about the world we live in otherwise girls and women are going to get hurt. There are bad people. telling them to be better won't make them be better, won't make them go away, and won't make you safe from them. Its about as useful as thoughts and prayers.
Preparing your kids for the dangers of the world is not "holding them accountable."
Some people have mental health issues of various forms, learning disabilities, traumatic brain injury.... there are lots of other reasons you should still be able to defend yourself. The training from other parents doesn't negate the threat. Don't advocate for being helpless.
Because we can’t train other people’s kids- but we can train our own.
Exactly. So parents should train their sons to not be rapey manipulative violent assholes.
Wrap it up everyone, we've stopped rapists by...
checks notes
being condescending about it on the internet
But you can’t guarantee they’re doing it- so train your daughter to kick some ass.
And for the record, I was never trained to not be a rapey manipulative asshole, and I’m none of those things, so let’s stop with the blanket statements.
It's amazing what you can do if you try.
Did you know that modern society has an entire profession based around teaching other people's sons? Like, adults learn for years how to do this, and then we pay those people to teach our sons and everyone else's sons too. Most countries even make it a legal requirement to be taught by someone!
It's amazing.
I’m not even bothering with this. It’s too fucking stupid.
Yes, the American school system really is.
Fitting username.
So is yours
I'm so glad the public school system has completely eliminated rape
You mean because they made it illegal to talk about sex in schools?
Yeah, I'm sure that's not related at all
I thought you said the existence of schools had eliminated rape, which is it?
No, I said teachers exist, so a lack of parenting shouldn't be the issue.
The problem isn't "parents suck", the problem is "we have a way to address this problem, and we are actively stopping it from being effective".
The problem is "rapists exist", one of many partial solutions is "teach girls to defend themselves". It's really weird that you seem to think there's only one path forward and seem more interested in assigning blame than lessening the impact of the issue.
I think you have me confused with a different lemmitor. Everything I've said has been the exact opposite of what you just wrote.