this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2025
51 points (100.0% liked)
askchapo
23191 readers
124 users here now
Ask Hexbear is the place to ask and answer ~~thought-provoking~~ questions.
Rules:
-
Posts must ask a question.
-
If the question asked is serious, answer seriously.
-
Questions where you want to learn more about socialism are allowed, but questions in bad faith are not.
-
Try !feedback@hexbear.net if you're having questions about regarding moderation, site policy, the site itself, development, volunteering or the mod team.
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
There's an essay called False Witnesses by Fred Clark that explains the popularity of a person I once knew. They partially openly abused people in front of others, and partially did it covertly at far more instense levels. They somehow won over people anyways. They loved talking shit and lied compulsively. Saying things like they saw ghosts and other stuff.
They were literally 20 years old when they tried intimidating children on social media platform meant for children by talking about how their boyfriend did martial arts, and she claimed he could kick their asses if he wanted to. I later told him about this and, like me, he found this seriously pathetic. As I assumed, she never showed him her children's social media profile and didn't know she was doing this. He soon broke up with her.
Of course she was one of those people who repetitively posted about how they look mean but they're actually a really cool and nice person if you get to know her. (They were very much not cool or nice.)
She made many new profiles a year, testing and trying on different sheep's clothing, and would try to add people who always blocked her each time she got a new profile. Mainly old victims of hers that she clearly only hoped to hurt again. She loved talking about how she was a vengeful person, which really meant she liked lashing out at people who spoke out about her because she feels entitled to abusing people and them staying silent about it.
But somehow some people took her side after I left her and talked about her abuse. They knew she was abusive and a compulsive liar. But they keep her around. Going along with her drama.
If you read the essay, you'll understand what I mean by people did this intentionally with malice, and there were a small few people who may still actually believe her bullshit. Other than that, she burns through people and is constantly scrambling for new ones. But she's had loyalty from a small group for over a decade. They rather knowingly be in an in-group based on bullshit than sit with the ugly, complicated truths and stories of abuse shared by people who've survived her.