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I watched a YT video by Dr Angela Collier on Richard Feynman. She drops this incredibly alarming stat that if a partner chokes you, you are 750% more likely to be murdered by that partner. I get that the kink isn’t 1:1 but it does make me wonder if there’s any relation.
Edited to include link to the paper.
I feel like the context of whether it’s consensual or not is the real factor there. BUT a lot of the edgier kinks can become even more dangerous since people are uncomfortable talking/asking questions, so maybe it’s more complicated.
Oh yeah for sure, that stat is undoubtedly in the context of argument/non-consent; not a consensual kink dynamic. I wondered if it’s because they don’t want to normalise it due to worrying about it carrying over to circumstances outside consensual sex dynamics. Like an abuser trying to argue it being in a BDSM dynamic when it’s actually an abusive one.
Way too many people try things they see in porn without doing proper research practice or consents. 50 shades of grey was a terrible time for the bdsm community
Those books were rape-manuals
When I was single, the second a woman would say "oh, you're like a real-life Christian Grey" I would know immediately that we weren't compatible
To be honest that actually seems like reason enough even if it is genuinely consensual
Does this also apply to holding your breath?
Strangulation (done (in)correctly) can cut off the blood flow to the brain, which halts oxygen delivery to the tissues. Holding your breath just causes oxygen delivery to the blood to stop. Your body has enough blood and oxygen in it to last for a few minutes without breathing, but only as long as it is circulating to the tissues that require it.
While holding your breath, the ratio of carbon dioxide to oxygen will steadily increase, which will eventually trigger some chemoreceptors and force a reflexive diaphragmatic contraction.
Good to know, thanks for posting!
If someone dies you're very unlikely that you're getting away with it even if you have firm evidence of consent such as it occurring in a freak accident at a well monitored event. At least that's what the kink educators I've heard from have all said.
Maybe I'm not fully awake, but I don't understand how that stat could be calculated. How the hell would anyone know the kinks at play in a representative subset of all abusive relationship that have ended in murder?
They interview the murder victim.
A seance, you say? Choked to death, you say?
As I mention in another reply the stat refers to abuse not kink play. Likely polled abuse/DV victims and then followed up with them, but that just a guess. I’ll link the study later if I can track it down.
Oh yeah non consensual choking is a "make a plan to get out now" situation.
In kink I'm actually still generally against it, but in a "this is way higher risk profile than a lot of people think" way. Banning it won't help, proper kink educational resources will.
What does Feynman have to do with sexual choking? 😅
Unfortunately, it was a non-sexual, DV kind of choking from my understanding.
What’s DV?
Accidentally deleted my reply but you’ll likely see it in your inbox still, whoops.
The article shown in her video.
Very curious as to what you based your assumption on it being "fabricated" on though.
Edit: Got nothing to say after the study is provided to you after baselessly claiming it was “fabricated” but hanging around to downvote my replies in child comments. Brave man.
Even if that stat is correct, you've made the wrong conclusion.
This stat is saying if your partner chokes you in an act of violence (non-consenually) then the risk goes up. The key point being that if someone is willing to choke you in violence, they're likely to escalate further.
Given the other person claimed it was “fabricated” and I’ve provided the same study that was cited in the video, that’s probably all I need to hear from you about this but anyway.
I not only reference that in the initial comment but specifically state that in others in the comment chain.
Given she’s a science communicator with a PhD in theoretical physics, my instinct wasn’t to immediately assume she “fabricated” this stat.
What are your chances of being murdered by your partner anyway? Just say if it's 0.1%, then that makes it 0.75%.
I’m not quite sure what it is exactly you’re asking and I don’t want to presume. That aside, your risk of being murdered increasing by that amount is wild and definitely worth knowing. Small percentages only seem small in the macro. It was framed in a manner similar to how another poster in this thread stated. “If you didn’t already know, if this has happened to you, you need to make plans to leave. Now, because your life is literally in danger” sort of thing. Abusers specialise in marginalising the concerns of their partners, especially insofar as their abuse and its consequences for their partners.
Yeah, although there might be more telling signs of abusive behaviour
True there typically is but it’s pretty variable unfortunately.