this post was submitted on 09 Oct 2025
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Always paranoid in relationships (hexbear.net)
submitted 1 month ago by Mattypatty222@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
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Im getting back with an ex after a split up of a month and a half (she slept with bartender during that time, but I can forgive, we weren't together). Im in treatment right now and mainly focused on that. But ive been talking on the phone with her at night for like 8 hours at a time, and I always get paranoid theres another dude in the background eating her out or something. Not sure how to get rid of these thoughts, seems a little brazen she'd stay on the phone with me for 8 hours talking about kids and marriage and how she loves me if there was another dude there eating her out.

Idk how to purge these thoughts from my head

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[โ€“] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Have you established that you're only interested in a monogamous relationship? Literally saying those words before committing to anything is what i did with my wife.

If you and her haven't officially talked about your relationship you have no say over who eats her out (strange fixation but I'm not a doctor)

I will say if she was, absurdly but hypothetically, receiving oral sex while talking to you on the phone that would be fucked up but not because it'd be "cheating"

You can't control what others do. You can prepare yourself mentally for what you would do if you found out about something but it sounds like you'd like to be aware of what she's doing at all times which, if I'm not being presumptuous, is not a good thing.

[โ€“] Mattypatty222@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago

No, its been established by her and I that this is a mono relationship and we are getting back together when she gets out. She tells me she loves me, im her man etc.