this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2025
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HistoryPhotos

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[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 33 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Imagine cops talking about what did they do last week?

  • I caught a murderer, tough case
  • I busted a group of thieves, we were gathering evidence for months
  • ... I measured bathing suits on a beach
[–] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 25 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I know this is fiction because cops #1 and 2 don't exist.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 3 weeks ago

they're real. The murderer was a doctor performing an abortion on a rape baby, and the group of thieves were workers caught unionizing and thus attempting to steal profits from their rightful owners.

[–] real_squids@sopuli.xyz 20 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

"I used taxpayer money to subscribe to an onlyfans model to arrest her" (after collecting enough material ofc)