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Do you believe in unconditional love? (hexbear.net)

submitted 3 weeks ago by Hohsia@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

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I’m starting to think that I do not, and I suppose it will be one of the greatest tests I face. My partner is convinced that he will do anything for me, simply because “he loves me”, whereas I continue to have boundaries. They’re a bit of a hopeless romantic, honestly, and it seems like they’re trying to recreate a teenage-type love they never had.

I thought I was liked for more than my body, but that seems to be the main attraction here :/ And they almost seem offended when I don’t show the same level of interest in theirs and try to convince me to get on viagra or something (which is completely missing the point).

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[–] purpleworm@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I'm not the person to take answers from, but no. I think it's sort of a maladaptive thing to idealize. You should be responsive to new circumstances rather than attached to some grandiose contract.

At the same time, I feel that belief, that the relationship meaning something to you personally, is more important than what your hormones are or aren't urging of you. I'd just ask your partner about why they love you, since that seems to be your main concern and, so long as everyone would be safe, usually just talking things out directly is the best answer. Perhaps you will get an answer that you can't stomach (I'm not saying it's likely, I have no idea), but it's better to know now rather than later, right? And even if you do, if you want to you can try to engage critically with them on that and on your value as a person rather than just a sexual totem.