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Do you believe in unconditional love? (hexbear.net)

submitted 3 weeks ago by Hohsia@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

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I’m starting to think that I do not, and I suppose it will be one of the greatest tests I face. My partner is convinced that he will do anything for me, simply because “he loves me”, whereas I continue to have boundaries. They’re a bit of a hopeless romantic, honestly, and it seems like they’re trying to recreate a teenage-type love they never had.

I thought I was liked for more than my body, but that seems to be the main attraction here :/ And they almost seem offended when I don’t show the same level of interest in theirs and try to convince me to get on viagra or something (which is completely missing the point).

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[–] Hohsia@hexbear.net 4 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Yeah the whole “hopeless romantic” shtick is really starting to rub me the wrong way. I’m not sure if there is a gentle way to bring it up without it feeling like a personal attack 🥲

[–] SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

There's a lot of ways to be romantic without mentioning a person's body like giving them little gifts, telling them how much you appreciate something about them, making something for them (food, art, a playlist), or taking them on a nice date. It sounds more like your partner is hopelessly sexual rather than romantic.

[–] Hohsia@hexbear.net 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

They say they’re a hopeless romantic, but I’m starting to agree. What you mention is what previously gave our relationship the most meaning (gifts, playlists, shared appreciation). It’s starting to seem like I’m becoming the side piece to their fantasy.

Like he told me I completed him the other day. That’s some Hollywood type bs. Any idea how I suggest he bring this up in therapy? Lol I know I should be more gentle but ya know

[–] SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago

Sounds like he's very insecurely attached to himself and needs constant external validation. He should feel complete within himself and partner should be seen as an addition to that completeness.

[–] purpleworm@hexbear.net 1 points 3 weeks ago

If your partner would "do anything for you" as they claim per the OP, then listening to how you feel and seriously considering that they might be, e.g. objectifying you rather than really appreciating you, seems like a totally reasonable request in the face of such a ridiculous statement.