chat

I do. Unconditional love doesn't mean not having boundaries, and mutually enforcing boundaries is an essential part of being in a mature, loving relationship.

IMO loving someone means genuinely wanting what's best for them, and genuinely wanting them to be happy. That's different from wanting to gratify all of their desires; loving an alcoholic, for example, does not mean pouring them a drink, even if that's what they want most in the world. In the context of a relationship, also means loving (and caring for) yourself. Caring for someone else at the expense of your own well being is unsustainable at best. At worst, it's barely sustainable and inertia will lock you both into a lifelong dysfunctional relationship in which neither of you are happy, and neither of you know how to get out. It's a pretty dismal way to spend a huge chunk of your life, and it is shockingly easy to fall into without noticing.

Pressuring you to take drugs isn't a great sign, seems like they are trying to problem solve unilaterally instead of bilaterally. Sounds to me like you gotta have a tough conversation about the relationship, and you have to decide if they are willing to listen to, understand, and respect your boundaries. That might mean not having sex as often as they want to. Might mean something else. I'd see if they're able to reckon with your wants and desires and try to collaboratively come to a mutually agreeable situation. But if they can't or won't take your needs and boundaries seriously, they don't deserve you, and you don't deserve that.

GL ❤️