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You shouldn't worry about things you can't control (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 week ago by cm0002@lemmy.world to c/funny@sh.itjust.works

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[–] OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I have not been able to find a copy yet, which fills me with anxiety

[–] Rhaxapopouetl@ttrpg.network 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

https://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/epicench.html

There, there. Everything is going to be the same but you'll feel a bit less anxious about it. It will help you focus and chose to act where you actually can make a difference.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

I didnt read the whole thing, but it seems similar to concepts in Zen Buddhism and seems to boil down to:

align what you care about to things you can directly control
spend as little time/effort possible on things you can't control
never attribute to yourself things you didn't cause to happen
always look for what you can control in a given situation

The examples there are great, such as seeing sickness or injury as a hinderance to your options, not your ability to choose. If you can frame things in terms of what you can and can't control, and then make decisions on how to deal with them, you put a lot of things that would cause anxiety outside yourself and can limit focus to things you can control. For example, I can't control whether my boss gives me a raise, but I can control how I present myself to that boss and whether to look for other job opportunities.