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Quick folo on ex-wife phone calls (beehaw.org)

submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by Powderhorn@beehaw.org to c/chat@beehaw.org

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The three-hour one I mentioned three days ago has been trumped by four hours tonight. We discussed her younger son's college goals and postgrad intentions, veered off into reminiscing and then somehow ended up in "why not come visit for a day" territory.

I know she's really, really terrible for me, and I don't like the idea of being stranded an hour from my van if shit goes sideways, but this is starting to look like a movie I've seen before.

The one where I visited her for a day, and we ended up married as a result. The path was a bit more winding, but it's easier to be direct with a former spouse than at the start of the whole thing.

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[–] zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don't want an explanation of what is going on, but what the problem is. That should be relatively simple to articulate.

E.g. we can't help but escalate to more serious and less healthy relationships. Or we have discussed it and we different relationship goals. Or I have issues with setting boundaries.

[–] Powderhorn@beehaw.org 2 points 1 week ago

Damn it, you're going to be reasonable?

The issue is multifaceted, so I'll try to sum up. Your third point is well in play, but there's also the fact that we're codependent as hell, and apparently even 16 years can't erase that.