this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2025
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voice dysphoria/training, negativity
Follow up from my post a couple of days ago.So, my biggest dysphoria is definitely my voice. I imagine my autism plays a role in how sensitive to sound I am. It upsets me every time I speak. I usually just kinda mask/disconnect from being a woman. But its so horrible. I really can't describe enough how much my voice bothers and upsets me.
Unfortunately, estrogen does absolutely jack shit for your voice. The only option is training your voice for hundreds of hours. Hundreds (or thousands) of hours of trying to speak more femininely. "Try and speak with your face" and other "helpful" advice. I don't understand how to do it. Every time I've tried I've just cried. Its fucking horrible talking to myself, trying to force it to sound feminine. I legitimately cannot.
I hate the idea of being out and sounding like this. I sound like a man. When I open my mouth that's what people hear. I- again can't quite explain how awful that feels.
I don't think even if I was able to voice train, I could get results I'm happy with. I unfortunately have quite the ear for voices.
I feel mutilated and hopeless. And like people don't understand. People talk so much more about appearance, and appearance is obviously really important to me, but no physical feature is as important as my voice. I feel like people down play how hard training is, as it just "sucks" or "is hard". I don't have words to describe how painful this is for me
Your voice is one of the first thing people identify about you, and it is your main way to express yourself, obviously it is important to you.
But sadly the only way to change your voice is to try, in the way you feel like your voice now is a form of mutilation, maybe consider that voice training is a kind of rehabilitation. Training up after an injury is painful, but there is no alternative and not doing so only leads to pain down the road. Your "injury" here I suppose is more of your circumstances of birth, but the metaphor I think still holds. I must make it clear that I don't want to dismiss your pain. Obviously it is painful for you. And trying your best only to fail at what others find easy hurts. I think everyone here is deeply aware of that. But I can offer you nothing but the fact that enduring has results.
Yea, idk. Maybe that's a good way to think about it. I still just don't think I can do it. It hurts too much
I remember someone describing voice as how people view your soul and that has been burned into my brain at this point