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Mocktail perfect for man who doesn't want to drink, but still wants to spend $18 (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 5 days ago by MHLoppy@fedia.io to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works

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Local restaurant the Green Garden began serving mocktails which are perfect for the person who doesn’t want to drink, but still wants to spend $18, confirmed sources.

“I was feeling left out drinking an affordable diet Coke,” explained sober man Lawrence Wilkes. “All my friends were having a great time spending $22 at a time on espresso martinis and mezcal old fashioned drinks. I always felt excluded when it was time to close out our tabs and I’d only spent like $16 on food and they’d spent half their paychecks in one sitting. Thankfully there’s a way to feel like I partied hard too. Like, when we went to the Green Garden, I noticed they had a menu of mocktails. I think that is a portmanteau of mock and cocktail, but I would have to Google it to make sure. It was delicious, and it cost me as much as a burger without fries would have, so I felt good about it. I’ve just had way too much money on my hand ever since I quit boozing.” [...]

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[–] timbuck2themoon@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 days ago

Article I read said that making mocktails is harder simply because you can't replicate the taste and balance. Like just adding more simple syrup and such won't work well. So they make specialty additions that replicate the alcohol but they actually cost more than the alcohol itself, thus the higher price.