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this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2023
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Transfem
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If I could go back and talk to a younger me at the start of her transition, we’d talk about how this is the chance to ACTUALLY learn about myself and to really take time and care to not sweat the details or get stuck in a rut. Try everything and figure out what’s actually you and what is just some baggage or ideal you’re trying to live up to. Don’t be afraid to say yes. Also, don’t be afraid to say no. Keep both open as your options for everything: clothing styles, makeup (if you wanna), hair stuff, sexuality and attraction, etc.
To be clear, I still feel like I managed my way through it and found my way to a rough approximation of what’s right for me eventually, but I was often too hard on myself and placed restrictions where there really weren’t any beyond what I was enforcing on myself. It really is Puberty 2 in so many ways, and you really need to lean into the lessons about how much any of it actually matters from Puberty 1… if at all possible.
That's how I feel like I would probably go through it. I also tend to set expectations or rules that don't necessarily need to exist. Weirdly, once I had the realization, it has gotten anxiously more difficult to say yes to things(buying clothes or whatever). Maybe part of me is afraid of what it means?