this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2025
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i'd like to bring up the UAE Swat competition, which is a sports contest between the world's most elite piggies to see who the best donut eater is. It's been going on since 2019 and China regularly dominates, usually with multiple teams in the top 10. It's not exactly the PLA or anything, but I think it's revealing to compare different paramilitaries.
A Chinese team ended up with first place in 2025's contest whereas the best funded paramilitary in the world, the NYPD, scored...84th.
"we made 200 cops play league of legends to see how many slurs they could use in 40 minutes, ranked by inventiveness, forcefulness, speed and enunciation"
Well obviously that's because they keep rejecting the NYPD's petition to add brutalizing Black people to the contest.
Hey theyre the best at brutalizing more than just black people, besides if they allowed that into the competition NYPD would go all Columbine on the competition
If people wanna actually watch the China and NYPD highlights (well, "highlights" in the case of the boys in blue) and/or check out the standings without using that truly awful website, see my earlier comment and the replies, which has timestamped links for all the events as well as full standings in table form:
https://hexbear.net/comment/5900196
Thank you. I'm particularly fond of how the Chinese snipers will hit a target in like 3 seconds then move on while the NY pigs will take minutes to set up and then miss multiple times
The NYPD sniper fumbling with the magazine in the Tactical event like he's in an infomercial is just
He spends as much time fighting the magazine as it takes for the Chinese sniper to run through the door, get prone, ready the rifle, aim, and take the shot
Note to self - do not commit crime in Kazakhstan