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Does anyone have a habbit of deadnaming themselves in their head
(lemmy.blahaj.zone)
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this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2023
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Transfem
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This question is probably best posed in !asktransgender@lemmy.blahaj.zone more than here, but in short, some do, but it's rare. It's far more common to be pretty uncomfortable with our old names
If you want to start a discussion on the specifics of why that is, please use a dedicated community rather than asking a trans person here to get in to it
Yeah, for trans people it's not the same as just a name. Your name is strongly associated with how others perceive you. Its associated with the gender others assign you. It goes beyond simply a word.
For instance, if anyone in my life ever were to refer to me by my deadname I would correct them immediately without hesitation. That's not my name. That name was used to reinforce my gender by other people. People in my life who refused to accept me used to call me that name. When someone calls me that name, they're rejecting who I am and insisting that I be who they want me to be.
What you were describing was essentially like if someone had previously referred to me by a nickname based on my current name but for some reason had stopped, and then they referred to me by that nickname again. That wouldn't bother me and is separated from the concept of deadnaming.
I'm going to remove this comment not because it is malicious or not in good intentions, but because this community is a safe space for transfeminine people specifically and this kind of question can be triggering to people who have experienced denial of their identity by friends and family. I'm not banning you but when engaging here please bear in mind that vulnerable trans people are here and that maintaining a welcoming presence to all transfeminine people is the purpose of this community.