[a farmer is talking in front of an angry crowd, pitchforks and all] I use the worst pesticides on my crops, raise animals in cramped conditions, take their babies away for slaughter, and have little respect for the environment
[the same farmer is talking in front of a now happy crowd, hearts and all] I'm a small local independent farmer though
Okay so, aside from the fact that, as another person pointed out, you can wash the eggs, that ‘poop and stuff’ includes a sort of exterior membrane that keeps the eggs fresh even when left out of the fridge.
Commercial washing removes that membrane, which is why those store-bought eggs go bad faster.