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[advice needed post] i asked out a friend. I don't think they understand that this is something I did with romantic and not platonic intent. How do I make that clear? (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 months ago by EstraDoll@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

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I asked out a friend of mine who I've been trying to ask out for a while now to grab coffee next week. They said yes but I don't think they got the more than platonic intentions I had, they seem kind of oblivious to it (or are just hiding it well). I can't flirt if my life depended on it, how can I convey my romantic intent without just... saying it outright?

idk if I'm giving enough context or detail here but feel free to ask if you need

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[–] dustcommie@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Keep on being normal platonic friends and doing normal platonic friends things until they get the hint(make sure you are as ambiguous as possible, want to make them very awkward and question everything. If you want to accelerate things, at the coffee meet up you should complain about not being able to find anyone, "I just want to meet someone like [descriptions of friend]" then move to a different country in embarrassment and 10 years later message them about going on a second date.

If you are insecure I guess you could instead say "I meant for coffee to be a date, sorry if I wasn't clear, would you like to go on a date?" and skip all the blissful nights of keep yourself up wondering what they think of you.

A thought experiment (which isn't perfect) is to ask yourself "how would I act if this was done to me", would you be in some awkward limbo if a platonic friend invited you to coffee or would you even think nothing of it or would you jump to this is probably romantic I should make me knowing it is explicit off just being invited to coffee by an established friend and not "be oblivious"? What would it take for you to be like "this is romantic, here is my chance to respond (in interest or disinterest) and this is how I respond..."?