this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2025
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The original way the first person asked was polite, if intoned gently.
The recommended response is corpospeak.
Corpospeak is never polite.
It just pretends to be.
Like a sociopath.
And this is why LLMs are so well suited for the task! People get genuinely excited by the prospect of using AI to read/reply email... because they don't mean actual thoughtful email written with intent, maybe even emotions or even reasoning. No... no they mean corpospeak that is entirely pointless, empty of meaning and definitely written for a human by human, but rather for a cog, to another lifeless cog in the corporation.
This is why people are investing tons of money and expending tons of CO2.
What a fucking farce of a species we are.
Bullshit corpospeak tasks is pretty much the only time I use LLMs. You want us to come up with a paragraph long department motto? Could someone ask ChatGPT and put all of our names under it so none of us waste time from our lives on such a retarded task.
All things considered our species is doing relatively well. Having the ability to assign purpose and use tools does cause us to get stuck in a stupid rut all too often, though.
I can't fathom why a person would willingly use corpospeak. I can't imagine anyone actually likes to speak that way.
I would invite the reader to always call it out when it occurs, and call for all involved parties to speak plain.
True but that seems to be what she was actually asking for. Her question would be too straightforward, she wanted to get out of the meeting without even hinting at that
The corpospeak way to ask for how to say something in corpospeak would be more like...
I want to say/ask "...", what would be an appropriate way to phrase this in a professional setting?
But yes, phrasing corpospeak is almost always designed such that someone not well versed in it would believe that what is being said is not extremely direct, is not extremely clear, is somewhat ambiguous, a bit more verbose than is necesarry to be concise.
However, if you have worked in a lot of corpojobs... you fairly rapidly learn what phrases actually mean. It just requires some familiarity with the specific situational context, and the way corpo business structure/culture works in general.
Direct Corporate speak would be.
"Do you need me in this meeting?"
I would argue that isn't corpospeak.
It is just normal speech.
Which would essentially be a faux pas for anyone other than C suite to do, to drop the dialect.
Only those that are very powerful/respected within the org can get away with dropping the dialect, there has to be a power disparity.
Like, a VP could say that in an internal check up meeting on some team or project.
But they could not say that in a quarterly earnings report in front of investors, it would be a faux pas to drop the dialect because the power/respect differential is less.