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this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2023
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Asklemmy
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These are indeed reasons why people tend not to make friends as they get older.
But none of them are reasons why one couldn't make friends. All you need to do is find someone else who also wants to make friends, and then become friends. None of these make that actually impossible.
You just responded to a message detailing why it's difficult to find people who want to make friends. This has the same energy as telling someone with depression to just not be sad.
I see it as a list of reasons why you actually have to search for people to befriend. Like use an online system or run an ad in the newspaper or something, rather than just hope you already are going to encounter suitable people just going about your life.
I don't think not having any friend candidates handy is the same kind of problem as depression.
That's what makes it difficult, isn't it? It's something that used to passively happen as you went about your life, and suddenly you need to actively work for it. Something you've never learned to do.
No one is comparing the problems. I'm comparing the proposed solutions. If someone says "I have problem X", it's very unhelpful to respond with "just don't have problem X".
I really want to say "you can solve problem X!". It can be done! Don't lose hope!
Though that is silent as to how exactly.