this post was submitted on 15 May 2025
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I'm gonna steel-man this. I don't think that being "hard" means being an asshole. It can mean having strength of character. Courage in the face of fear, that kind of thing. You can be that kind of hard and also be compassionate.
Having said that, it is pretty shitty to assign that to a gender. Anybody of any gender can have a strong character. Also, I haven't read the article this is referring to, so it could be full of toxic masculinity for all I know.
You can be sensitive while also being bold. You can be kind while also being firm. You can be helpful while also being strong.
None of these things cancel each other out.
Unfortunately, the shittiness of "BEING A HARD MAN" typically embodies a lot of shitty stereotypes about """masculinity""": must limit your emotions, never apologize even if you're wrong, don't do """girly/sissy""" things, etc. It's garbage.
A man who lets his nieces paint his nails and isn't ashamed of that isn't less of a man. A man who cries during romantic movies isn't less of a man. You know the drill.