30
How do y’all deal with dating?
(discuss.tchncs.de)
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2023
30 points (94.1% liked)
AuDHD
1457 readers
31 users here now
A place for those that got both Autism and ADHD, those confirmed as one and are suspecting they got the other as well, and also everyone who is neither and just genuinely curious.
Since the combo comes with its own set of challenges, this shall be a place to ask for advice, vent, infodump about special interests and/or just vibe and meme.
Please be respectful. General niceness guidelines apply - formal rules will be added later if necessary.
In regards to medication and medical advice: Please take under consideration that this is only an online support community. Offered advice is always an expression of individual opinions or experiences and shall never be taken as substitute for a professional in-person assessment!
This is a SFW community. Sensitive topics are allowed, but must be properly labeled.
More support communities:
On lemmy.world
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
I tried briefly when I was younger. Never went well. Then I randomly met someone online and we had a long-distance toxic relationship on and off for about five years. I’ve been single now for about four years and am as lonely as I am terrified of trying to date again.
Honestly, I’m not even sure I should ever bother dating again. Going through therapy now, and I almost feel like my pursuit of a partner has been more like a search for a caretaker. Who would want to be in a relationship with someone like me? I forget basic things constantly, I’m broke and can barely work, I’m prone to extreme depressive episodes, my anxieties regularly control me, I have difficulty trusting people outside of my immediate family, and I’m not even physically attractive.
I’m “working on myself” through therapy and all that, but I doubt I’ll ever be in a position where I am worthy of love. It’s even less likely I’ll get to a position where I can convince someone else that I’m worth loving.
The way someone explained this to me was: you probably wouldn't judge someone else the way you do yourself - certainly not if you knew the context and what they're dealing with.
Personally speaking, I feel like I don't judge someone else the way I judge myself because I don't know the full extent of what they are going through but I have access to all of my thoughts, memories, and every action I did or didn't take. This lowers the possibility of there being a hidden, valid reason for actions or thoughts that I judge myself for compared to others.
This isn't meant to say that MisterMcBolt is right about their self-judgement. Just wanted to point out another possible reason for judging others differently from yourself.
Sounds really rough. I know you didn’t ask for advice, but I really wish I started on meds earlier. Sertraline and methylphenidate worked really well for me. Therapy alone just didn’t cut it.
Why hello me.