this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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IMO “developing” “masculinity”—“proper” or otherwise—is a fool’s errand. I don’t much care what various & sundry people think “masculinity” is or isn’t, and I’m not much interested in meeting the performance criteria of their varied & contradictory masculinities. I don’t hang out with the kinds of people who gatekeep gender.
It is a word to describe a state of being, and a state of being that is a good one to have when understood correctly. Like for instance you probably don't like talking to immature people.
Toxic masculinity (femininity) are negative behaviours associated with men (women), but anyone of any gender can have toxic masculine traits / toxic feminine traits. They are labelled toxic masculinity (femininity) to emphasize that men (women) should be particularly cautious about developing such traits. Learning how to recognize such traits in oneself is important. No gender is gatekept here -- the only gatekeeping is "don't be toxic."
That said, the terminology is provocative, and it's the kind of thing which drives people away from the left, so we should really rebrand it.