this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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Me: exist without an extensive list of precautions.
Women: oh no!
But to be honest, I've stopped looking at people at all because this costs me so much energy and at some time I just gave up. If this makes me look like a threat then I'm sorry.
It isn't an extensive list, I just explained it with examples to avoid being too vague. It is just two things:
Worrying too much about how others see you to the point that you are uncomfortable will make others uncomfortable. If you can be comfortable with yourself others will be more likely to feel comfortable around you.
AUDHD: "Let's create a huge problem where none needs to exist, ok?"
Honestly my being an introvert with ADHD makes noticing people but not paying too much attention easy because I'm thinking about something else and am not looking for a conversation anyway! Threads like this and talking to women I know in person about what they find creepy is how I found out it is the least threatening way to act. Just got lucky tbh.
I'm an introvert as in focused internally on my own thoughts. I don't have social anxiety and am comfortable talking to strangers if they start the conversation.
You asked "How do I react" and then when given a sympathetic and detailed answer seem to act as though it's a huge imposition being demanded of you.
The reality is that you don't have to do anything and no one has demanded you do anything. Sometimes, allyship requires effort. If you think you might be making someone uncomfortable and there is something you can do to ease that discomfort, it's your choice to make, but please don't act like it's women who are out there putting society in this position. It's men who are doing it. You're also may be "sorry" about it, but clearly not sorry enough to want to change to help.
Most women do not perceive every man as a threat. There are some that do I'm sure, but generally there's a specific set of circumstances where it becomes an issue. If you don't want to take those opportunities to exercise allyship by making them more comfortable, you don't have to.