this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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"Jesus... when you say 'get me off this fucking cross, so help me God'... is that a test? Or should we actually get you off the cross?"
( More ranting and screaming and moaning )
The disciples nod wisely at their leader's self-sacrifice for... their sins maybe? And he will always be immortal in their hearts, because they've already eaten him or something.
The disciples go home, wiser and holier and warily eyeing each other in confirmation of the deeper meaning behind their saviour's last words: "Guys, please, I'm not fucking around, get me down, please, I'm so fucking thirsty.... Jesus fucking christ"