14
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2023
14 points (64.0% liked)
Asklemmy
43908 readers
985 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
If it’s offensive to refer to people who prefer “they/then” as “she”, then it’s offensive to refer to someone who prefers “she/her” as “they”.
And this isn’t just on principle either. I know a cis heterosexual woman who has short, but still feminine hair and tattoos and people repeatedly call her “they” sometimes and it bothers her. And it’s weird because the solid odds are that she prefers “she/her” but people call her “they” which points out that she doesn’t look conventional.
Edit: the best thing you can do is to ask literally everyone you meet, or just use he or her the traditional way and quickly and briefly apologize if corrected.
Honestly they can just deal with it. I respect their choice, but I'm not gonna frustrate myself trying to figure them out, especially if it's just a quick conversation that will both forget about in a s few minutes.
Because when it gets to that level of complexity, like WTF is anyone supposed to seriously do?
You say you respect their choice, but your self-described actions don’t.