this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2025
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That was wisdom, hard-earned wisdom, the wisdom of the weathered rock. I loved this line:
I can't believe you're 22. Amazing.
You're right to handle things yourself, and you've worked your ass off, I'm sure, gone through so much alone. Jesus said, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" I'm sure you've felt that feeling so many times.
I have no idea how you got healthy, how you got on your feet again. You have to be a very strong person. Your words are wise WAY beyond your years. You should be proud of yourself.
Hahaha i indeed did, a lot. It even was one of the many reasons i am no longer religiouse in any way. But unlike most religiouse people and the catholic church, i am living the values of their religion unlike them.
I myself have no idea how i am still alive, why i never with the knife on my wrists, standing on a cliff/bridge or having my head in a rope already and all it would have took was one small move, why i didnt do this small movement.
All i know is, i somehow am still here, with a clear goal: Doing all in my power so no one has to suffer like i do
But i am anything but healthy. Like i wrote, i am still fighting addictions that i got from the porn life, unlearning habits from the decades of abuse. I do not feel pride, but also no shame about it all. But it defenetly gives me confidence and reasurance. "I have been threw so much and gotten threw and out. I can withstand this too"
The porn industrie isnt inherently evil. It is a job like any other, but it has a very high risk of quickly becoming hell and torment, without you even noticing. You just have to get to the wrong people and before you know it you are trapped and they have you dancing to their melodie
You are so quotable!
A heroes journey! May the road rise up to greet your feet! May your shoes not wear out and your bread not grow stale! May the sun shine on your steps and may you find fresh water when you are thirsty!
Thank you for your kind words :)