this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2025
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Back when I regularly drank coffee, I'd use a bit of this kind of stuff. A splash.
Still way, waaaaay too sweet.
Switched to a half gallon of wholefat milk in the fridge, used a splash of that instead.
Much better.
...
Most Americans I've known seem to think they like coffee, when what they actually like is a milkshake with notes, hints, suggestions of coffee.
One former roommate of mine thought it was completely normal for 'a cup' of coffee to be 1/3 coffee and 2/3 this kind of pictured coffee.
I remember actually vomiting one time I mistook her cup of coffee for mine.
I spent 6 months in Italy. I spent another 6 months in Jamaica. I spent another 6 months in 5 different European countries. I've had really fuckin bad coffee everywhere.
Imagine gatekeeping caffeine
Everyone's entitled to as much caffeine as their bodies can handle, but it is pretty odd to 'love coffee' but actually love 'coffee-flavoured hot milkshake'. Like saying 'I love fruit' but really meaning 'I love apple jacks pop tarts', it's not wrong, just a bit odd.
Yeah that's still gatekeeping though. Coffee is coffee regardless of what you put in it. Even if it's gross according to my own individual taste, it's still coffee. Saying anything else is just "better-than-you" gatekeeping.
Edit: it's also nothing like your example at all, because coffee with creamer is still literally made with real coffee, while an apple jacks pop tart is almost definitely not made with real apples.
Coffee is only coffee if the coffee part of the drink is > 50% of the volume. In North America, lots of people drink a mixture that would actually have you curious about that ratio.
Sure, it's gatekeeping coffee - the reason we build walls with gates is to keep the barbarians out! I wasn't trying to 'gatekeep caffeine' in the slightest, those concotions are defintely cafffinated hot drinks. And of course, by some standard they're 'coffee' and so is tiramsu.
Apple jacks pop tarts are made from apples (apple powder, but apples nothertheless), and while it might be a small fraction of the total, the point where it stops being fruit and becomes a snack is an arbitary line. I assume you consider a drink made with instant coffee powder still coffee?
Obviously, it's a silly semantic debate, and someone could equally judge me for wanting my coffee beans roasted and ground "why not eat the berries fresh if you say you love coffee‽".
If it tastes good it is good!