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Just gotta compare it to signing up for an email. You gotta choose a provider.
I personally don't really like that analogy. With email, you can send and email to anyone who has an email address. You can only see emails you have received after creating your email account. It's simple and clear. With the fediverse, for past posts, you can see some: only if it was posted on your instance or if someone on your instance was following them when it was originally posted or has interacted with it since, meaning there is some technicality that prevents you from seeing everything you think you should be able to see.
In terms of account creation, I agree. Just pick a provider (instance), if you don't like it you can create a new account somewhere else later.
I think the analogy will hold only because the problems you've presented should get worked out over time. I feel the same with how fediverse links work and how it interacts with your Lemmy account (like it's super easy to link a fediverse comment/post, just a little harder to get from your account instance to that link where you can interact with it).
My first Lemmy account was on a little instance where I had to go through subscribing, like you said, for those instance feeds to pop up. I also see that as just another wrinkle that will be ironed out over time, as the setting up and hosting of instances becomes more mainstream (well from at least it's current state).