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submitted 1 week ago by abobla@lemm.ee to c/technology@lemmy.world

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[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 71 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (5 children)

Corporations and politicians: "oh great news everyone... It worked. Time to kick off phase 2..."

Replace all the water trump wasted in California with brawndo
Sell mortgages for eggs, but call them patriot pods
Welcome to Costco, I love you
All medicine replaced with raw milk enemas
Handjobs at Starbucks
Ow my balls, Tuesdays this fall on CBS
Chocolate rations have gone up from 10 to 6
All government vehicles are cybertrucks
trump nft cartoons on all USD, incest legal, Ivanka new first lady.
Public executions on pay per view, lowered into deep fried turkey fryer on white house lawn, your meat is then mixed in with the other mechanically separated protein on the Tyson foods processing line (run exclusively by 3rd graders) and packaged without distinction on label.
FDA doesn't inspect food or drugs. Everything approved and officially change acronym to F(uck You) D(umb) A(ss)

[–] AtariDump@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago

[–] abobla@lemm.ee 16 points 1 week ago

that "ow, my balls" reference caught me off-guard

[–] Eheran@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I love how you mix in the Idiocracy quotes :D

[–] singletona@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

I hate how it just seems to slide in.

[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

A savvy consumer, glad you mentioned. Felt better than hitting it on the nose.

[–] LePoisson@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Handjobs at Starbucks

Well that's just solid policy right there, cum on.

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 4 points 1 week ago

It would wake me up more than coffee that's for sure

[–] whostosay@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Bullet point 3 was my single issue vote