Steam Hardware
A place to discuss and support all Steam Hardware, including Steam Deck, Steam Machine, Steam Frame, and SteamOS in general.
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In terms of your connection, LAN and WAN isn't really going to be the way to go except for some very specific scenarios.
The Steam Deck and almost all multiplayer games connect via Internet servers and your steam accounts. Some games you can host and your friend connects directly via the Internet - games are designed to support that so you often don't need to resort to local LAN/WiFi play.
It doesn't matter that you're next door to each other - you might as well be miles away from each other for all it matters - you both just need good stable internet connections to the remote servers, with decent speed and your Internet routers not too restrictive on your connections (firewalls not blocking access, relevant ports open).
So basically ensure you have a good WiFi connection. Even better you can also get USB c ethernet dongles or a dock for your steam deck with ethernet to connect to your router directly and avoid WiFi.
I play with my steam deck docked under the TV, ethernet connection to my router, hdmi to my TV and an xbox controller and Bluetooth headphones. I play on the couch with all the benefits of the steam deck.
Both of you docking your steam decks with ethernet connections to your Internet routers may give you a better experience.
Edit: In terms of games to try:
Phasmophobia - you can cooperatively try and hunt ghosts, horror game but can be a lot of fun
Keep talking and nobody explodes - coop game where you diffuse a bomb, hectic but not needing fps reactions
Divinity: Original Sin 1 & 2 - RPG games which can be played in Co op mode, with tactical combat
Baldurs Gate 3 - similar to above, same makers but hugely popular and highly regarded game
Valheim - coop survival game - explore and build a base, defeats bosses etc
Stardew Valley - super cosy farming sim, with simple combat. It's a very chill multiplayer experience - can just chat away (or not) while building up your joint farm
There are loads of co-op type games that work well on the Steam Deck.
Thanks for the detailed response. Yeah, I'd thought the LAN thing would be tricky - the issue is that where we live, we have to rely on mobile hotspots for internet connectivity and the speed isn't the best. It's usable, I think we were just hoping to find a more effective workaround! And thanks for the suggestions too, I'll check em out.