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this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2024
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Chat is a text only community for casual conversation, please keep shitposting to the absolute minimum. This is intended to be a separate space from c/chapotraphouse or the daily megathread. Chat does this by being a long-form community where topics will remain from day to day unlike the megathread, and it is distinct from c/chapotraphouse in that we ask you to engage in this community in a genuine way. Please keep shitposting, bits, and irony to a minimum.
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As someone who took time to figure out they were non-binary (agender), it wasn't really my pronouns that bothered me, but that certain of my features made me look to much of a certain sex. I thought that if I fulfilled whatever archetype of that sex, I would be happy, whether it leaned more masculine or feminine. But I wasn't. It was being seen as that sex that bothered me in the first place. The biological implications terrified me, not because they themselves were terrifying, but because that wasn't what I was supposed to be. The voice, genitalia and secondary sex features, these features weren't supposed to be on me. I didn't want any of this.
The features you describe as disphoria seem to be social disphoria. In a sense, you understand that they see you as man, so it makes it even more uncomfortable.