I think their biggest problem is this

so that I can start over the second things start to go sour.

It's something I too struggled with at first. I tried to win every fight cleanly. But BG3 is super forgiving when a fight gets messy. Death isn't nearly as much of a deal. You just use a scroll or head to camp and revive them for a small fee.

Once you accept that, reloading becomes less common. There are just a few fights so far that are near impossible unless you do everything right. And that's my only combat-related complaint, some fights require you to initiate them in a certain way but due to cut scenes you can be in a starting position that's nearly impossible to win from.

The bigger issue is that 5E is just extremely unbalanced and certain builds are so much better than others. On Tactician you are forced to go down that route. But no-one forced you to play on Tactician. I don't know how optimized you need to be on Balanced.

The new version of DnD is apparently fixing a lot of this imbalance. And would make for a better rule set.