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this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2024
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My dad is hardcore conservative, identifies as independent. My mom was Democratic, she's now hardcore Republican to reflect the political views of her 4th husband.
I want so badly to just not see any family for Thanksgiving because their political views are so dramatically opposed to mine, but that just doesn't feel right in my heart.
Everyone I love supports things I'm ethically and morally against, but shit dude, my circle of people is already so small. I want to have family and friends in my life, but I also want to surround myself with people who share my values. Unfortunately I have to choose one over the other, and that feels dirty.
Going no contact or limited contact is a personal decision everyone has to decide for themselves. I'm lucky enough to have boomer parents who aren't hateful/gullible conservatives.
It is a personal choice, but it also enables fascism. It is important that we not ignore this.
People say "what would you do to stop the Nazis" and in America, we can't even bring ourselves to do the very minimum to socially isolated Nazis while that is still a viable option. How's it going to go if we need to take up arms against them? How many people are going to say "I know my father is marching with brownshirts who lynch gay people, but I'm pretty sure he isn't actually holding the rope."
Personally, I'd cut them off as I'm diametrically opposed to fascism and bigotry. But I get that family relationships can be complicated, and if people are dependent on those Trump supporters cutting them off really isn't a viable option. The reality is we're all more isolated than ever, and without some kind of support system, cutting off the few people some have connections with might end up doing more harm than good. We need stronger communities built around opposing the coming tidal wave of crushing hatred - much easier said than done.
Doesn't have to be all or nothing. Maybe you can go every second one. Or go and if it comes up and gets heated you could leave?
I'm not from the US, but my mother held some questionable craycray views for a long time, but I only fully realized & saw the extend of it after the refugee crisis in 2014. I tried to somehow bear with her, but in the end, also for some other reasons, I had to cut her out of my life, simply for my own sake. I'm rather alone than surrounded by toxic people.
You're allowed to make new friends.
Oh wow why didn't I think of that