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this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2024
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i've felt profoundly alienated and unable to connect on basic things lately.
I am having a very hard time finding work, and i'm realizing the world is both worse than i thought, and i'm starting to doubt my willingness to do what it takes to fight it.
I really just want to hide, and spend all day learning and reading what i can, trying to forget people want to destroy me for my identity. I can barely stand going outside lately. I don't find as much joy in anything, i'm often emotionally blunted. I just lost a family member that was dear to me, and maybe that's part of it.. but honestly this has been going on longer than that. it's just getting worse.
i've been forcing myself to go outside and make new connections when I can, and it seems to be helping at least.
Sorry for your loss, comrade. I can totally relate to feeling emotionally blunted. I force myself to not make new connections, but at least go out and be social with the bartenders at my favorite spot. I also like taking the corgi too, and perch up with her next to the register so everyone can pet her when they get drinks or whatever. She likes to meet people, and while I tend to not talk to much, I know it makes her happy which does a little something for me.