I'm in my mid-30s and still working retail and it's getting more and more stressful each year. I'm a stupid fuck up but finally got my shit together and decided to go back to school for something actually valuable, but now the job market is fucked and it's only going to get worse so I've just accepted this master's I'm getting is going to be worthless. I'm just stuck in this and need to accept it. Also I've given up on relationships. I don't like saying this because I feel like it comes off as kinda incel-ish, but I'm a cis, mostly hetero man and I feel like there just not much romantic opportunity for me anymore, at least as a 30 year old. Women are, totally justifiably, fed up with men, I'm frankly fed up with men. I think it's totally right that many of them want nothing to do with us, but it does leave me single.

Ironically I'm actually less doomer about the world at large, I have some hope for humanity, but I think it's over for the corner I occupy. I just see things getting worse. I really wish I could just get enough money to buy a cabin in the woods and be alone, away from all the noise and stress, but I don't have the resources even for that.

I quit drinking recently, but I think I'm going to start again. I enjoy it, it's fun, and I don't see the point in not. It was hurting my health but I don't care that much about my health anymore and just want to enjoy what I can. I don't intent on actually harming myself, that would hurt my family, but I'm not really going to take care of myself beyond that anymore.