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this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2023
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Europe
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25 years I’ve been abroad (The Netherlands) and the work-life balance is why I stayed. They insist I take days off (still foolishly work like an American) and have already booked out a 3 week vacation for later in the year…and I’ll still have nearly 2 weeks of vacation left. We can roll a few weeks of vacation over to the next year if not used. Even though the Dutch have NO holidays from June to Christmas, I’m still able to take 4 day weekends when I want to.
The downside is family left behind may begin to resent you. My family have developed this red-hat victim culture. I can’t bring up how I live abroad or else it starts fights - they don’t want to talk to me now.
Same with the resentment! Lots of people in the US don't want to hear how much better it is elsewhere. GrEaTesT NaTiOn oN eArTh!
It's funny, because if you're living in the US and bringing up topics (like e.g. healthcare, parental leave, vacation time, sick days, the school system, universal access to universities and higher education, traffic deaths, gun violence, etc. etc. etc.) the reaction is often "well, if you hate it so much, why don't you just leave?"
And then, when you actually leave and live a much more enjoyable and happy life elsewhere, the reaction is "we don't want to hear about it!!!"
They didn't want to hear about it in the first place ;)
Sometimes you just have to make the changes you can. For me, it was time to go - I wanted to see more of the world, to work and explore and see life differently. My family wanted something different: solidity, family, planting themselves. I needed to explore. We both got what we needed.
I also moved to the Netherlands recently (but from Germany) and their holiday schedule feels really weird to me. You get a lot from April to June and then nothing until Christmas. They should've spaced that out better.
You do know that most public holidays are based on christian events right? Spacing those out is only possible if we separate those days from religion.
The statuary minimum holiday entitlement of 20 days (most employers give 25+) can be used freely.
Heh, even here in the home of Christianity we have multiple secular holidays: liberation day, workers' day, republic day, ferragosto ...
Cool thing is, you can even make up holidays if you want!
looks like you should stop talking to that family of yours
Too late. They stopped taking to me.
Why the resentment though? Is it because they're thinking that they had it terrible and therefore you should too? That you're not a loyal worker and therefore less of a person because of that?
Or can it be that they feel left behind and you talking about how great it is to them sounds like you don't miss them or regret moving away?
I tried not to parade the differences around, but there would inevitably be issues with any comparisons made. I’m a Democrat, and they are very Republican; this last president has made things very hard. It’s also possibly just simple envy - my father suggested it when he was still with us all - and I’ve tried to keep in touch and be there for children’s birthdays, etc, but now they just turn away. Or just convienent: now 25 years later, I think the friends are more family that actual family.
Seriously been considering moving the family to the Netherlands or Sweden.
Lived in a few places in Europe over the years. Currently in Canada, which is slowly sliding into being a hellhole like America. 😓
I’ll be retiring soon and move to Asia with the wife. We’ll leave the light on for ya… 👍
Thanks. Where abouts in Asia? Had a friend retire in Singapore and they've been loving it.
Close by - have an Indonesian wife I met here and we’re looking at land in Bali.
My family is really gonna hate me now.