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this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2024
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All of this. I had sex once at 14 and then not again for a few years. Losing my "v-card" didn't materially affect my life or relationships.
I didn't discover good sex until my thirties. Due in large part to finding some sex-positive, kinky friends. I think I only ever had sex with one of them, but the social environment had a big effect on my outlook and was a big game changer.
I mean I havent had a real relationship since the age of 15 and that was barely anything. But I am afraid of what potentional partners may think of me if I havent had sex yet. Feel like they will think that there much be a reason someone didnt want to have sex with me already
They aren't going to know unless you tell them. And if you're already to the point of discussing sex with someone, you're probably past the point of that being a hangup. It's like worrying about the size of your junk—by the time someone is at the point of seeing it, it doesn't matter.
Sex isn't precious. Don't get me wrong. It's intimate and a wonderful way to feel close to another person physically and emotionally. But I feel like it's so intimidating because people think it's precious. It's just sex. Every single thing in your genetic lineage before you has done it for hundreds of millions of years.
Are you going to get hung up about a woman who tells you she's been with thirty people? She's likely just as self-conscious about being judged. I don't know how to express this in a way that is easy for someone on your side of the conversation to hear. I struggled with it earlier in my life. Just worry about being a person someone would be interested in having a relationship with, and sex will follow.
It's when someone is pursuing sex or marriage or whatever without regard to whom that they come across as desperate and creepy.